T H E   K A M A   S U T R A   O F   V A T S A Y A Y A N A
A B O U T   R E - U N I O N   W I T H   A   F O R M E R   L O V E R

PART 1   |   PART 2

PART 2
In the case of the man who may have been driven away by one woman, and be living with another, if the man makes overtures to return to the first one, the courtesan should consider well before she acts, and while the other woman is engaged in attracting him to herself, she should try in her turn (though keeping herself behind the scenes) to gain him over, on the grounds of any of the following considerations:

That he was driven away unjustly and for no proper reason, and now that he has gone to another woman, every effort must be used to bring him back to myself.

That if he were once to converse with me again, he would break away from the other woman.
That the pride of my present lover would be put down by means of the former one.
That he has become wealthy, has secured a higher position, and holds a place of authority under the king.

That he is separate from his wife.
That he is now independent.
That he lives apart from his father, or brother.
That by making peace with him, I shall be able to get hold of a very rich man, who is now prevented from coming to me by my present lover.

That as he is not respected by his wife, I shall now be able to separate him from her. That the friend of this man loves my rival, who hates me cordially, I shall therefore by this means separate the friend from his mistress.

And lastly, I shall bring discredit upon him by bringing him back to me, thus showing the fickleness of his mind.

When a courtesan is resolved to take up again with a former lover, her Pithamarda and other servants should tell him that his former expulsion from the woman's house was caused by the wickedness of her mother; that the woman loved him just as much as ever at that time, but could not help the occurrence on account of her deference to her mother's will; that she hated the union of her present lover, and disliked him excessively.

In addition to this, they should create confidence in his mind by speaking to him of her former love for him, and should allude to the mark of that love that she has ever remembered.

This mark of her love should be connected with some kind of pleasure that may have been practised by him, such as his way of kissing her, or manner of having connection with her.

Thus end the ways of bringing about a reunion with a former lover.

When a woman has to choose between two lovers, one of whom was formerly united with her, while the other is a stranger, the Acharyas (sages) are of opinion that the first one is preferable, because his disposition and character being already known by previous careful observation, he can be easily pleased and satisfied; but Vatsyayana thinks that a former lover, having already spent a great deal of his wealth, is not able or willing to give much money again, and is not therefore to be relied upon so much as a stranger. Particular cases may however arise differing from this general rule on account of the different natures of men.

There are also verses on the subject as follows:

'Reunion with a former lover may be desirable so as to separate some particular woman from some particular man, or some particular man from some particular woman, or to have a certain effect upon the present lover.'

'When a man is excessively attached to a woman, he is afraid of her coming into contact with other men; he does not then regard or notice her faults and he gives her much wealth through fear of her leaving him.'

'A courtesan should be agreeable to the man who is attached to her, and despise the man who does not care for her. If while she is living with one man, a messenger comes to her from some other man, she may either refuse to listen to any negotiations on his part, or appoint a fixed time for him to visit her, but she should not leave the man who may be living with her and who may be attached to her.'

'A wise woman should only renew her connection with a former lover, if she is satisfied that good fortune, gain, love, and friendship, are likely to be the result of such a reunion.'

PART 1   |   PART 2