T H E   I M P O R T A N C E   O F   M E M O R Y

A ninety year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears, the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between sobs and sniffles he answers, " You can't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love....At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again and then, she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at suppertime and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?" The old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live..."


A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. The first thing he noticed about her though, was her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism (zipper, buttons or velcro) for opening them. After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants up over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. "Excuse me miss, but how do you get into your pants?" "Well," she replied, "you can start by buying me a drink."


A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk , he accidently bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled... The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."